Fuck you Kawakami!

Yesterday, Tim Kawakami wrote that the Niners may be seriously considering trading both their first round picks in order to move up to pick Jimmy Clausen. I rebut:
Worst. . . . Idea. . . . . . Ever. Lets see. . . The Niners have got a wide open division, hell, a wide open conference. A blossoming offense with a top 3 tight end, top 10 back and a potential top 10 reciever.
Alex Smith, for the first time in his career, is going to go into the season healthy (hopefully), with a year of experience in the system, and talented skill guys all around him.
The same Alex Smith who finished last season with 2,350 yds, 18TD's and 12picks in 10.5 games. Over a full season that proects to 3,600 yds, 28TD's and 18 picks. And that is with ZERO improvement.
They have a very solid young defense which gave up the 4th fewest points in the league last year, and stands to get better. Heck, the Niners even got a gamebreaking return threat in Ginn.
For the first time in 8 years, they have legitimate playoff expectations. (They always say they expect to make the playoffs, but this year experts and pundits will agree, anything less will be a massive dissapointment) The Forty Niners are a couple offensive linemen and a cover corner away from being a possible Super Bowl contender. And they have two fairly early first round picks.
So you’re telling me, with all of these things going for them, they are going to package those two picks, which could be used on two players who could start THIS SEASON, for a quarterback who, by your admission, wouldn’t sniff the field until 2011.
A guy who came from the same system that brought us Brady Quinn. You say that it’s harder to hit on a franchise qb in the 20’s than in the top 10? That may be true, but its just as easy to miss in the top 10, and it’s far more devastating. Just ask the Niners, who have TWO #1 OVERALL PICK QUARTERBACKS ON THEIR ROSTER! Or look across the Bay at your boy Jamarcus!
Timmy, I read you daily, and you’re generally one of my favorites, but this may be the stupidest theory you have ever come up with. It would be a terrible idea for them to pick Clauson at 13, let alone at 5.
They haven’t made the playoffs in 8 years. But according to you, they’re so confident in Singletarys ability to get this team to the playoffs that that they can afford to get ZERO help this season from their top two pics? They have this luxery because they can always draft Vladamir Ducasse in the 2nd round? What?
And by the way, if the Niners are assuming that they'll make the playoffs with no help, then must'nt they also be assuming that Alex Smith is going to play well, rendering your argument for trading up to get Clausen doubly moot?
I can only hope that you are horribly mistaken. The only good thing I can take from this article is that you never actually say that the Niners like Clausen. So this is a hypothetical based on a possibility that you won’t even guess to be true. If the Niners really really love Claussen they might trade their whole draft to get him, cause Ditka did it once so there’s precedent. Where, oh where, do you come up with this nonsense?

Niners sign who to the what now?

When I first saw the crawl at the bottom of the screen, I missed the first part of it. All I got was ” . . .signs a two year contract with the San Francisco 49ers for 6.25 million dollars plus incentives”. I was excited, I allowed myself to fantasize about who it might be as I waited for the crawl to repeat itself. For that kind of money, we could get someone fast and shifty who can immediately help in the return game, maybe an Antwan Randle El or a Jerious Norwood. How about a solid offensive lineman who’d be in the rotation and have the potential to start? (I’m not gonna pretend I know enough offensive lineman around the league by name to drop a couple of examples, but they are out there. Heck we just let one go, Tony Pashos) Or maybe an aging stud pass rusher or DB, a year or two past their prime looking to show they still have something left in the tank , ala Darren Sharper with the Saints last season. I’d be ecstatic. For 6.25 million, it’s gotta be someone who can get on the field and help us win, right?
David Carr? . . really? Really? David Carr? That’s who the Niners choose to spend money on? A guy who hasn’t started a game since the 2006 season and has never started for a winning team? His career record as a starter is 23-56. He’s thrown more career interceptions than touchdowns, and his passers rating is room temperature. Apparently we signed him to take the place of Shaun Hill. Really? The same Shaun Hill who costs half as much, has a 2 to 1 touchdown to interception ratio, a passers rating 12 points higher than Carr’s, and has gone 10-6 as a starter FOR THE NINERS? This is a guy who has earned the trust and respect of the team in the trenches. Replace him with a guy who’s only legacy in the NFL is being a bust, a prima donna, getting sacked and losing games? If David Carr sees the field as a 49er, it is practically a guarantee of our failure as a team. If we can’t win with him as our quarterback, can somebody please explain why we backed up the Brinx truck to sign him? I think Patrick Willis put it best when he said “We have three qb’s that are better than him. That’s a waste of time”. Not to mention money. I do not approve.

Following our Auberge experience, which was absolutely lovely, we met up with Ian's belle, Kathy. I had met Kathy a few months before for Ians birthday celebration. She had organized a group trip to the Giants/Mets game. It was at this event that the horrifying picture of me becoming one with a hot dog was taken. The event was a rousing success. We hit it off immediately, I found her to be a delight, Im not entirely sure what she saw in me. (my charm, wit, and self-deprecating humor possibly?) It is always a bit worrisome when you meet a good friends significant other. There are few situations more uncomfortable than not liking a best friends girl/boyfriend. Thankfully, this was not at all the case, if anything I think Ian my have been a bit annoyed that I monopolized her time a bit (singing his praises the whole time). I was excited to see her again, and excited to get dinner because, well, dinner excites me. We stopped by her place to pick her up, and I met her beautiful pug Lucy. It was nice to get to know Lucy so it wouldn't be awkward when we were sleeping together on the same couch later that evening. Ian and Kathy were fired up to go to a place called Ubuntu, which is a renowned vegetarian restaurant in Napa. Now I am aggressively omnivorous, I love vegetables but it is very rare that a meal of mine does not integrate the flesh of a once living animal. Usually the meat, or whenever possible, meats, take center stage. The vegetables, though playing an integral role, are supporting actors. Occasionally I allow the vegetables a star turn, often with great results, like Paul Giammatti in Sideways. So I enthusiastically embarked on my first meal at restaurant that did not allow meat. Now, when I say the place is renowned, I am not exaggerating. It has a Michelin Star, and the front window had reviews from the Chronicle of course, but also The Chicago Sun-Times, The Washington Post, and The New York Times, which described it thusly: "Ubuntu is where virtue meets naughty sensuality. It’s the Angelina Jolie of restaurants." High praise indeed. The space is beautifully understated, modern but comfortable. The server was bright and bubbly, if slightly overwrought. We started off with some Almonds, Sea Salted and lavendered up, they were quite tasty. There were some falafel like french fry things, an amazing cauliflower au gratin type thing, probably the best vegetable soup I've ever tasted. The meal was amazing, except for one dish. I found it insulting. (in my inebriated state I imagined the chef creating it as a joke "Apricot Mayo? Sure! Smurf Garden of edible flowers and hazelnut soil? of course! Cheese the consistency and taste of silly puddy? Why not? Have you seen my reviews?" The worst part is that it was the one dish that we got on our waitresses recommendation. "whats your favorite thing on the menu?" "The Smurf Village "(Im paraphrasing) All in all, though, it was a pretty fantastic meal. If the opportunity arises, give it a shot. Its pretty amazing the things they can do with vegetables these days.

Non trip related post

Twas the night for Thanksgiving, and all through the Bay
People were drinking, being merry, being gay
I was gonna give you, another trip post
you'll have to make do with this, Prost!

One of the last pictures taken of me before my trip.
Think about this when your going for thirds tomorrow, I dare you!
Happy Thanksgiving all, be safe.

5. Auberge Encore

After documenting the cocktail and it's surroundings, Ian and I set to catching up. By the time I finished my Gimlet I was bulletproof, and I think I may have been giving Ian a bit more grief than I should have. I've known Ian since I was 11 years old and he has been one of by best friends ever since. He is a great guy, world traveler, bon vivant, and in many ways, possibly more than any other of my friends, a kindred spirit. We went through many of the same things together. We were the weird, funny kids in junior high, we hung out on the outskirts of the cool kids but were never actually cool ourselves. We were straight edge, semi dorks freshman year, I can clearly remember the night at the beginning of sophomore year when we decided together we were going to start drinking and going to parties. We became interesting to girls at the same time (I lost 40lbs between freshman and sophomore year, he lost his glasses and the over the top weirdness, all of a sudden girls approached us, which was good, cause neither of us had the guts to approach them ), sometimes, the same girls, at about the same time. (Not like that you sicko) We were both longhaired hippie Defensive Ends on the J.V. football team Sophomore year, we both went out for the team Senior year, he played the whole season, I lasted three days (got in the way of Nap Time. . . Alright, AOL Chat room time, whatever, don't judge me.). You get the idea, he is as close to a brother as I've ever had, and we've grown apart a bit in recent years. More to the point, he has grown up and changed in a lot of positive ways. I have as well of course, but I've grown into an older, chubbier, more self-confident and self-aware version of my younger self. He has discovered new interests, and abandoned a lot of the old ones which we shared. I still like Phish and Taco Truck, probably as much as I did when I was 16. In fact I wore a pair of pants I've had since high school to a 3 day Phish Festival at the end of this trip.(They used to be WAY too big for me) He doesn't eat meat, wears designer jeans and goes to places that serve 20 dollar Gimlets. I think I may have heckled him a bit too much, it was probably mostly cause I was worried about losing one of my oldest friends. And maybe I was feeling a little fat that day, its really hard to say. The worries were unfounded, and the heckling unnecessary. Im sorry buddy, I had a blast. We were certainly enjoying ourselves when this 2nd pic was taken.

4. Auberge, on a beautiful Napa afternoon.

We left Chandon and went to an even more beautiful Napa Valley locale, Auberge du Soleil. The place is spectacular, a short, meandering drive up a beautiful hillside brings you to the restaurant , which opened in 1981, and the European style Inn which opened 4 years later. The place, though nearing 30 years old, which is ancient in restaurant years, remains chic and modern, with contemporary touches and old world style. Is this a place that I, myself, would go to on my own? Not in a million years, but I'm glad Ian took me there. The view from the terrace was exceptionally beautiful, the service and drinks fantastic, and the company incomparable. I had left my camera in the car, and didn't realize it until after we sat down and ordered drinks. I took the ticket out to the valet and grabbed my camera. On my way in, camera in hand, I explained to the valet that I "had to have a picture of my 20 dollar cocktail". He laughed and shook his head, as did Ian. So here it is, my good friend Ian on the left, the splendor of the Napa Valley unfolding in the background, and a 20 dollar Cucumber Gimlet in the lower right. I do believe it was the most expensive cocktail I had all trip, not surprisingly, it may have also been the best.